Everyone knows that a good therapist is hard to come by, but recently, I have heard time and time again, “I’ve had the same therapist for years.” Well, then are they really helping you? Therapy should be goal driven. Yes, sometimes, it will take a long time to get through all the “stuff” that has been packed away in your soul but…YEARS? If you have been seeing the same therapist for years, maybe you need to find a new therapist. Are you going there because it’s familiar but really you are getting nothing out of your session. If you spend upwards of $100 to $150 an hour for someone to listen to your problems but is offering no way for you to work on those problems, it might be time to go somewhere else.
There was a time in my life I was diagnosed with adult ADHD. When I found that therapist, I was looking for someone to side with me and listen to all of the ugly things I needed to say about my husband. I found one and they even had a session with both of us so that I could say the things I needed to say and then the therapist confirmed all of my feelings and told me that my adult ADHD was the cause of a lot of the problems I had (impulsivity, problems focusing, etc.) but really didn’t offer any solutions just a diagnosis. Therapists are just like bloggers…one will blog about blogging…one will blog about family….one will blog about food. Each blogger has a specific niche and if you don’t find the right therapist it will be like talking to a blogger about my feelings about my family when their last blog post was on how to make tater tot casserole.
In an article I found (https://www.talkspace.com/blog/2015/10/what-i-wish-someone-had-told-me-about-how-therapy-actually-works/), the author had this to say:
But It Doesn’t Have to Last for the Rest of Your Life
People often don’t commit to therapy because they fear they will be stuck there until they die. There’s nothing wrong with continuing therapy for the rest of your life, but you don’t have to. Therapists don’t want your money that badly.
I actually had one therapist who sort of dumped me. He said I didn’t need him and had made enough progress to permanently leave therapy. I didn’t feel dependent on him, but I disagreed, mostly because my symptoms had not reduced to the level I wanted.
One way to avoid this is to sign up for short-term therapy such as the kind counselor Alicia Taverner offers.
“In the initial session, I talk with clients about goals and when they’ll know they don’t have to come to therapy anymore,” Taverner said. “This sets the stage for continually checking in on their goals and assessing when therapy will end.”
If you want to ensure therapy doesn’t last too long, try finding someone with Taverner’s approach or asking your therapist to set long-term goals for eventually leaving.
Look for someone that will give you something to work on! And if they don’t but they need to see you again next week, it may be time to look for someone else!